What's a joke you haven't used yet, but are dying to share?

Read also:

• How is it, in the USA, a country with 334 million people, the choice of President comes down to two aged men, one of whom is a liar as well as a criminal, one who appears to be on his way to dementia. Surely a democratic country can put up better?
• What nonsense did you hear today in India that made you laugh?
• Can they start feeding only one meal to prisoners on death row or those doing a life sentence? Because only then will it be real punishment. If they want extra food they can work or pay from their own pocket.
• 31 Little Upgrades To Your Day-To-Day That Won't Sound Life-Changing…Until You Try Them - BuzzFeed
• What is the meaning of xx in texting?
• What is the top-rated beach resort in Bali, Indonesia according to TripAdvisor reviews?
• 14,000-year-old mummified 'puppies' weren't dogs at all, new research shows - KSL News
• Why are European countries warning European travelers to be careful traveling to the United States?
• Do most men prefer curvy women or skinny women?
• Why do flat Earthers still exist even though it is scientifically proven that the Earth is spherical?
• How do I deal with autistic burnout/meltdown/shutdown when cooking?
• How did my ex move on very fast?